i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I will be naked everywhere
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
