You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
