I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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