The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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