Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
