My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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