As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
