last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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