We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
