Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
