Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
