i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
