Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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