Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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