I puked a lego.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
