so that wasnt chicken after all
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
