I am in a vortex of obligation.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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