is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
