he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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