He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
