Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
