Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
