forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
