after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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