the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
