just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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