Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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