i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
