theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so much tequila, so little girl.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
