Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
