i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
