5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there was a trapeze. enough said
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
