How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
