we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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