im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
