does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
