I showed him my bush... on skype.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
