my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
don't judge my taste in strippers
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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