Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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