Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
