Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
