is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize