I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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