Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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