I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
we should paint friendship bongs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
