The maid of honor just puked.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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