Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
