I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
