he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
we're so committed to being not committed
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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