im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
