I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
