we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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