also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
